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20170731

Gibraltar declares itself Spanish. More Gixit than Brexit. Surreal drama.

A surreal drama from the imagination of Christopher Lee.

It's 31 July 2017 and an increasingly certifiable Prime Minister is about to call another snap election when she is told that Gibraltar wants to stay in Europe and so, after 300 years of British rule, the Gibbies (as she calls them) are about to declare they are Spanish.

She goes into gigantic decline declaring history will write her off as the PM who lost more than her majority - if Gib goes, so will Australia, Canada and New Zealand.

The Queen, cousin of the Spanish King, wants to know what's going on and gives her PM advice she never expected to hear, telling her about the Buckingham Palace fox's attitude towards flamingo and the cost of large animal vets that look after the Gibraltar monkeys.

And, all the while, a conjuror's assistant on three bottles of whisky a day through a glass straw has a theory to save the Empire - and Fulham from relegation.

It's all more Gixit than Brexit.

Written by Christopher Lee
Directed by Celia de Wolff
A Pier production for BBC Radio 4.