Very Old Pretenders

Episodes

EpisodeTitleFirst
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01The Patriots20110915Written by multi award-winning writer Carl Gorham, creator of cult TV animation show 'Stressed Eric', the series explores what happens when two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 are found alive and well in a cave in Perthshire and have to be integrated into modern Scottish society by English academic Andrew Merron.

Anthropologist Andrew Merron attempts to introduce two Jacobite soldiers to modern notions of Scottishness. This week, in pursuit of patriotism, he takes them to a tartan shop on the Royal Mile. There, a chance encounter with a key ring brings back memories of the golden days and unlocks a great well of nationalistic feeling. But when they attend a football World Cup qualifier with Scotland taking on the tiny Dickson Isles, it all turns horribly sour.

Cast:

Andrew Merron......................David Haig

Denise Merron..................Rebecca Front

Rab ....................................Jack Docherty

Macdonald........................Gordon Kennedy

Commentator 2 / Train Announcer ....... Jack Docherty

Shuggy McNeil / Commentator 1.... Moray Hunter

Tess McNair ....... Morwenna Banks

Producer: Gordon Kennedy

An Absolutely production for BBC Radio 4.

Two Scottish soldiers from 1745, found alive in a cave, are introduced to modern society.

Comedy by Carl Gorham. Two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 are found in modern day Scotland

02In Therapy20110922Written by multi award-winning writer Carl Gorham, creator of cult TV animation show 'Stressed Eric', the series explores what happens when two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 are found alive and well in a cave in Perthshire and have to be integrated into modern Scottish society by English academic Andrew Merron.

Friction between the two Jacobite soldiers comes to a head and results in a bust-up with broadswords. This prompts anthropologist Andrew Merron to introduce them to the modern world of therapy. The two soldiers can't agree who should have therapy first; they can't even agree how they should decide who should have therapy first. It is only when they are forced to live separately, with a dreary cousin of Merron's and his fussy Uncle that Rab and Macdonald start to realise each other's true merits.

Cast:

Andrew Merron......................David Haig

Denise Merron..................Rebecca Front

Rab /Therapist....................................Jack Docherty

Macdonald/Uncle Jed........................Gordon Kennedy

Dougie / Waiter ......Moray Hunter

Keef Van Leer - Carl Gorham

Producer: Gordon Kennedy

An Absolutely production for BBC Radio 4.

Anthropologist Andrew Merron introduces two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 to therapy.

Comedy by Carl Gorham. Two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 are found in modern day Scotland

03The Dating Game20110929This week in Carl Gorham's culture clash comedy anthropologist Andrew Merron takes his two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 into the modern world of speed - dating. There, a super confident Macdonald fails spectacularly to attract anyone whilst a nervous Rab is mistaken for the strong silent type and overwhelmed with offers. With Rab already on a date, Merron manages to fix Macdonald up with someone via the internet then succeeds in arranging a special evening out for himself and long suffering wife Denise. But far from pleasing everyone, the three dates quickly prove a nightmare for all concerned.

Cast:

Andrew Merron......................David Haig

Denise Merron..................Rebecca Front

Rab ....................................Jack Docherty

Macdonald........................Gordon Kennedy

Gail ......... Morwenna Banks

Speed daters ....... Lucy Barter / Rebecca Front /Sinead Merron

Taxi Driver/Rita ....... Moray Hunter

Producer: Gordon Kennedy

An Absolutely production for BBC Radio 4.

Two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 are introduced to the complex modern world of dating.

Comedy by Carl Gorham. Two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 are found in modern day Scotland

04On Television20111006The last episode in the present series of Carl Gorham's culture clash comedy. With his marriage under severe strain, Andrew Merron introduces the Jacobites to the world of television. He attempts to turn the radio show he is making into a TV series and is on the verge of a deal when the executive in charge accidentally insults the scots and they attack him with his own Bafta. A depressed Merron then finds his wife has left him and hits the bottle, introducing the men to the ways of modern self -pity. The picture looks hopeless till Merron finds help from an unlikely source.

Cast:

Andrew Merron......................David Haig

Denise Merron..................Rebecca Front

Rab ....................................Jack Docherty

Macdonald........................Gordon Kennedy

David Roberts ...... Nicholas Burns

Producer: Gordon Kennedy

An Absolutely production for BBC Radio 4.

The soldiers learn that pitching shows is difficult and that it is never a good idea.

Comedy by Carl Gorham. Two Jacobite soldiers from 1745 are found in modern day Scotland